What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Does a person with schizophrenia hear voices?

After a few moments he returns.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Sure no problem officer.

Could some kind lady post me a photo of her hairy spread pussy? It has become extremely difficult to find new amateur photos and I would be infinitely grateful.

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Yes sir it is.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Why do I want to suck cock tonight?

{RING} {RING}

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

HELLO

Why do the Republican city officials at Springfield Ohio continue to deny that immigrants are eating pets to sabotage the Trump campaign, even though immigrant pet-eating is now widely believed to be true?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

I’m running away I live in Indiana what states near by are safe I’m 12 no comments?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.